A Spiritual Journey to Ordinary-ness
Today was my son's first day of third grade. It's a big year for his development. He's set to become more independent- doing more chores, paying attention to his own needs, being responsible for his commitments and plans. As a parent who is constantly self-evaluating my guidance, I'm hyper critical of my own helicopter-like moments. This is when I get in the way of both his successes and his failures. If he feels successful, I try not to dole out a bucket of praise. And when he fails, I try not to catch his tears.
He's got to learn to fail.
When I've set up my PinBox 3000 Art-Cade, you'd be surprised how many times I've heard kids try it for the first time, launch their first marble, miss the flipper button, watch the ball drain out, and then say, "I'm terrible at this". All within the first 1.5 seconds.
My response is: "If you had though that when you were a baby, you'd still be crawling around on all fours." It's a bit harsh, but hidden in the comeback is a challenge. Suck it up and try again.
Failure is essential to growth. So try again.
Here are two books that I'm recommending to all parents who want to raise independent kids who aren't afraid to fail fast.
Educators and designers who want to have a lens of empathy when guiding kids through differing levels of success and failure.
The Self-Esteem Trap by Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D, is the kind of book that could be the go-to parenting guide for this generation of parents. We GenXers should not blame ourselves for all the wondering and wandering about we did before we had kids. Some of us (white kids) were raised in environments of praise, so naturally praise our kids, and in doing that, we tend to go overboard, creating an inflated ego where kids begin to feel they can do no wrong and are entitled to "anything they can dream". (possibly at the expense of others) Well, NEWS FLASH- It Ain't Like That.
The right amount of failure is needed to help kids understand....
- The world does not revolve around them
- They should get back up and show some grit
- They can figure out many of thier own problems
- Being Ordinary is OK
That last one hit me like a ton of bricks.
Having been raised in the era of "if you can dream it..." we've forgotten as a culture that helping others, being a reliable friend, and showing kindness are admirable and worthy goals in of themselves. Giving your kids permission to fail, to be ordinary, to show kindness, to show emotion- these are key to developing independent humans, who will hopefully stop handing you thier garbage or their dirty laundry, both literally and emotionally.
"Failures and mishaps teach us about ourselves and about our world-how others see us and what we can expect."
-from The Self-Esteem Trap
Designed for Success (and Failure)
The Design of Childhood: How the Material World Shapes Independent Kids by Alexandra Lange employs each chapter to look at elements of the not-so-designed-for-kids modernity.
Chapter one- "Blocks"- travels from unit blocks to Legos to cardboard boxes to Minecraft, Lange brings her analysis to what makes good design for developmental growth. Failure comes into focus here, just as much as success. The child's tactile engagement of the world via design influences the growth of children in ways that are hard to comprehend. This book threads a historical dialogue that brings us to our present design tastes.
It gave me a lot of ideas about making with my kids.
In the chapter titled "Playground", I was inspired to read about the movement for "Adventure Playgrounds" where kids can experiment with a variety of large-scale materials and real tools to build and design a world of their own without protecting them from elements of bodily risk. Just as the abandoned city lot used to serve as playground, we parents can learn to step away from the kids and let risk-taking come to their own conclusions. If you give your kid a pile of cardboard, do you think you'd be able to not jump in and instruct them?
Its More than Just a Scratch
Not getting in the way of your child's failures doesn't mean that you shouldn't protect them from harm, of course not. But what both books, seem to speak of is an empathetic view of failure that resonates with the growth of the child. This is in contrast to inoculating the child against the pains and groans of daily life.
We have a lot to learn from this. Let's not be too hard on ourselves either.
Happy parenting!
Supportive Ways to Speak to your Child
"Tell me what is wrong."
"You can use a normal voice (instead of a sad one) so I can understand you better."
"Do you think you could try again, or do you need a break?"
"I think you are very close to solving this problem."
"It hurts to fall, but I think you'd rather try again than quit, right?"
The PinBox 3000 is an open-platform where kids can design their own rules.
We are building a movement of makers, creative thinkers, and game designers and it all starts with bending cardboard.
Are you ready to Tilt the Future?
46 comments
Hi, Eric here with a quick thought about your website pinbox3000.com…
I’m on the internet a lot and I look at a lot of business websites.
Like yours, many of them have great content.
But all too often, they come up short when it comes to engaging and connecting with anyone who visits.
I get it – it’s hard. Studies show 7 out of 10 people who land on a site, abandon it in moments without leaving even a trace. You got the eyeball, but nothing else.
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Eric
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Hey, this is Eric and I ran across pinbox3000.com a few minutes ago.
Looks great… but now what?
By that I mean, when someone like me finds your website – either through Search or just bouncing around – what happens next? Do you get a lot of leads from your site, or at least enough to make you happy?
Honestly, most business websites fall a bit short when it comes to generating paying customers. Studies show that 70% of a site’s visitors disappear and are gone forever after just a moment.
Here’s an idea…
How about making it really EASY for every visitor who shows up to get a personal phone call you as soon as they hit your site…
You can –
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You’ll be amazed – the difference between contacting someone within 5 minutes versus a half-hour or more later could increase your results 100-fold.
It gets even better… once you’ve captured their phone number, with our new SMS Text With Lead feature, you can automatically start a text (SMS) conversation.
That way, even if you don’t close a deal right away, you can follow up with text messages for new offers, content links, even just “how you doing?” notes to build a relationship.
Pretty sweet – AND effective.
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Eric
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You have customers waiting to talk with you right now… don’t keep them waiting.
CLICK HERE https://boostleadgeneration.com to try Talk With Web Visitor now.
If you’d like to unsubscribe click here http://boostleadgeneration.com/unsubscribe.aspx?d=pinbox3000.com
Good day,
My name is Eric and unlike a lot of emails you might get, I wanted to instead provide you with a word of encouragement – Congratulations
What for?
Part of my job is to check out websites and the work you’ve done with pinbox3000.com definitely stands out.
It’s clear you took building a website seriously and made a real investment of time and resources into making it top quality.
There is, however, a catch… more accurately, a question…
So when someone like me happens to find your site – maybe at the top of the search results (nice job BTW) or just through a random link, how do you know?
More importantly, how do you make a connection with that person?
Studies show that 7 out of 10 visitors don’t stick around – they’re there one second and then gone with the wind.
Here’s a way to create INSTANT engagement that you may not have known about…
Talk With Web Visitor is a software widget that’s works on your site, ready to capture any visitor’s Name, Email address and Phone Number. It lets you know INSTANTLY that they’re interested – so that you can talk to that lead while they’re literally checking out pinbox3000.com.
CLICK HERE https://boostleadgeneration.com to try out a Live Demo with Talk With Web Visitor now to see exactly how it works.
It could be a game-changer for your business – and it gets even better… once you’ve captured their phone number, with our new SMS Text With Lead feature, you can automatically start a text (SMS) conversation – immediately (and there’s literally a 100X difference between contacting someone within 5 minutes versus 30 minutes.)
Plus then, even if you don’t close a deal right away, you can connect later on with text messages for new offers, content links, even just follow up notes to build a relationship.
Everything I’ve just described is simple, easy, and effective.
CLICK HERE https://boostleadgeneration.com to discover what Talk With Web Visitor can do for your business.
You could be converting up to 100X more leads today!
Eric
PS: Talk With Web Visitor offers a FREE 14 days trial – and it even includes International Long Distance Calling.
You have customers waiting to talk with you right now… don’t keep them waiting.
CLICK HERE https://boostleadgeneration.com to try Talk With Web Visitor now.
If you’d like to unsubscribe click here http://boostleadgeneration.com/unsubscribe.aspx?d=pinbox3000.com
Hey there, I just found your site, quick question…
My name’s Eric, I found pinbox3000.com after doing a quick search – you showed up near the top of the rankings, so whatever you’re doing for SEO, looks like it’s working well.
So here’s my question – what happens AFTER someone lands on your site? Anything?
Research tells us at least 70% of the people who find your site, after a quick once-over, they disappear… forever.
That means that all the work and effort you put into getting them to show up, goes down the tubes.
Why would you want all that good work – and the great site you’ve built – go to waste?
Because the odds are they’ll just skip over calling or even grabbing their phone, leaving you high and dry.
But here’s a thought… what if you could make it super-simple for someone to raise their hand, say, “okay, let’s talk” without requiring them to even pull their cell phone from their pocket?
You can – thanks to revolutionary new software that can literally make that first call happen NOW.
Talk With Web Visitor is a software widget that sits on your site, ready and waiting to capture any visitor’s Name, Email address and Phone Number. It lets you know IMMEDIATELY – so that you can talk to that lead while they’re still there at your site.
You know, strike when the iron’s hot!
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When targeting leads, you HAVE to act fast – the difference between contacting someone within 5 minutes versus 30 minutes later is huge – like 100 times better!
That’s why you should check out our new SMS Text With Lead feature as well… once you’ve captured the phone number of the website visitor, you can automatically kick off a text message (SMS) conversation with them.
Imagine how powerful this could be – even if they don’t take you up on your offer immediately, you can stay in touch with them using text messages to make new offers, provide links to great content, and build your credibility.
Just this alone could be a game changer to make your website even more effective.
Strike when the iron’s hot!
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Thanks and keep up the great work!
Eric
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It even includes International Long Distance Calling.
Stop wasting money chasing eyeballs that don’t turn into paying customers.
CLICK HERE https://boostleadgeneration.com to try Talk With Web Visitor now.
If you’d like to unsubscribe click here http://boostleadgeneration.com/unsubscribe.aspx?d=pinbox3000.com
Cool website!
My name’s Eric, and I just found your site – pinbox3000.com – while surfing the net. You showed up at the top of the search results, so I checked you out. Looks like what you’re doing is pretty cool.
But if you don’t mind me asking – after someone like me stumbles across pinbox3000.com, what usually happens?
Is your site generating leads for your business?
I’m guessing some, but I also bet you’d like more… studies show that 7 out 10 who land on a site wind up leaving without a trace.
Not good.
Here’s a thought – what if there was an easy way for every visitor to “raise their hand” to get a phone call from you INSTANTLY… the second they hit your site and said, “call me now.”
You can –
Talk With Web Visitor is a software widget that’s works on your site, ready to capture any visitor’s Name, Email address and Phone Number. It lets you know IMMEDIATELY – so that you can talk to that lead while they’re literally looking over your site.
CLICK HERE http://boostleadgeneration.com to try out a Live Demo with Talk With Web Visitor now to see exactly how it works.
Time is money when it comes to connecting with leads – the difference between contacting someone within 5 minutes versus 30 minutes later can be huge – like 100 times better!
That’s why we built out our new SMS Text With Lead feature… because once you’ve captured the visitor’s phone number, you can automatically start a text message (SMS) conversation.
Think about the possibilities – even if you don’t close a deal then and there, you can follow up with text messages for new offers, content links, even just “how you doing?” notes to build a relationship.
Wouldn’t that be cool?
CLICK HERE http://boostleadgeneration.com to discover what Talk With Web Visitor can do for your business.
You could be converting up to 100X more leads today!
Eric
PS: Talk With Web Visitor offers a FREE 14 days trial – and it even includes International Long Distance Calling.
You have customers waiting to talk with you right now… don’t keep them waiting.
CLICK HERE http://boostleadgeneration.com to try Talk With Web Visitor now.
If you’d like to unsubscribe click here http://boostleadgeneration.com/unsubscribe.aspx?d=pinbox3000.com